ethical query

I still have three student loans to pay off, and each year I defer them because I still don't earn enough to have to pay them back. On the one hand, I will probably never earn enough to have to pay them back, so I could keep deferring them until after 25 years they are written off. Or, I could actually set a bit aside and start paying them off. I am unsure which is wiser stewardship. What should I do?

suffering v healing

Had an interesting conversation with a student friend this week about suffering. Why does God allow it? Why doesn't God always heal? Isn't it contrary to his character not to heal? Here are my thoughts:
1. It is right to pray for healing
2. We must accept that sometimes God chooses not to heal - not because we haven't enough faith, nor because we deserve to suffer - but so, therefore, because he decides it is best.
3. It isn't necessarily outside of God's character not to heal. If we are his, we will be healed one day, which may come sooner or later, and God is sovereign in his timing. To stick to his perfect timing is the most loving thing God can do.
4. We must allow God the right to decide when suffering begins and ends. The more I think about it, the more I think that a lot of good can come out of suffering. A friend of mine recently blogged, "Adversity reveals the reality of the human heart." One reason I don't like the fact that Anna is still ill is because it has revealed how impatient I really am. Whilst that is painful, it can only be a good lesson. And it is better that I suffer and learn that than not suffer at all.
So with Paul, "we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." (Romans 5) Or at least, I do this on my less sinful days!Also, if we must allow God the right to make the decisions on suffering, that is a sharp rebuke to those of us who don't like to think about the possibility of healing. So let's get praying for it!

God's grace in a box, but not boxed in

I had a massive tangible reminder of God’s generous grace recently when a rather substantial cheque came through the post from a friend, completely out of the blue. It soon became clear that God was providing this money specifically for me to buy a laptop – and a very nice one at that! It taught me a number of things:

- As Christians we don’t have to avoid material things - God wants us to enjoy them.
- God provides generously for our needs – not just so we scrape by, but so we can enjoy him.
- We can use material things to enjoy God.
- We can use enjoyable material things to serve God.
- And, surprisingly, I have artistically creative gifts that God wants me to enjoy, develop, and use for his kingdom!

My prayer is that each day I open my laptop, I remember God’s grace. It's right there sitting in front of me!

[ ]

Life can be tough. I've just been looking at a photo of Anna from when we were going out and remembered that there was actually a time when she didn't have chronic fatigue. For several weeks now I feel like my patience with this thing has been run ragged and dry. I'm still here though.

Bits of Psalm 42

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?" These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?" My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?"

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

neighbours bombshell

So Anna and I are sitting on the balcony of the Marina Bar having breakfast, overlooking the yachts on a sunny Saturday morning, when Anna says to me,
"Kenny, if in the future we have two children, and one's a girl and the other a boy, can we call the girl Libby and the boy Drew?"

oh dear sven

England have played three games, they're now in the knockouts. Theo hasn't played yet. Wayne Rooney's in a grump. Michael Owen is injured. Good old Stevie Gerrard is keeping him in a job.
To add to Sven's worries: I typed in sven into google to find a picture - this was the first one...









... and this was the second!

my wife's latest joke

q. which english footballer is as good as two in a bush?

a. rio bird-in-hand...

sven ur wierd

This is us at full-time of England v. Paraguay on Saturday.
Being impartial as I always am in England's international sporting events, my pundit view is that England have one fatal problem with their World Cup strategy: Theo Walcott. England's problems began when they took Michael Owen off; suddenly they only had one striker up front, Peter Crouch, who is only a support forward - he needs someone in front of him. Who could you put there instead? A cripple or a youth player.
Why why why why why bring someone with no Premiership experience who the coach hasn't even seen play? Three possible reasons: 1. to make a token gesture that they're investing the squad for the future 2. because Arsenal offered Sven financial reward 3. because Sven was banking on Rooney being fit. As the old saying goes, "to win matches you've got to score goals" and Sven's got a problem here. He has four forwards, two of whom aren't fit, one of whom is presumably too terrified to play in the World Cup, and one who's too tall to play on his own. I feel sorry for Jermaine Defoe, he must be wondering what on earth he's done wrong.

oggy

the da vinci code

...is doing my nut. I'm doing a talk on it on Wednesday evening, and whilst it is nice to encourage some students and challenge others on the reliability of the New Testament, it's a shame that I have to make constant reference to Dan Brown throughout. I thought the thing sucked! Haven't people ever read books before? Calvin and Hobbes makes me think more than this! Eat my mouldy toast Danny boy!

the fight

'Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.'
Romans 8:5

"The Holy Spirit creates desires in us and sin creates desires in us. We can choose to focus our minds on one or the other. If we want to walk more closely with the Holy Spirit, then we will set about desiring what the Spirit desires and denying what our sinful nature desires in all the decisions of the day.
The Spirit is within us and desires to obey God. We could not experience this new desire before we became Christians. All we knew was a strong desire to disobey, even if we dressed it up in an outwards show of morality. Now we have a strong desire to obey. The Spirit achieves the goal of the law in us (something the law itself could never do) by changing us, not with an external list, but by transforming our hearts and attitudes.
We are changed from the inside out. God has transformed, and is transforming, our desires. The Spirit gives power over sin in the Christian life."
Marcus Honeysett, 'Finding Joy', IVP

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law."
Galatians 5:16-18

Thanks Marcus
Praise be to Father, Son, and Holy Spirit!

falmouth docks at dusk (on thursday)

wise and true!

'This is what the Lord says:
Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no-one lives.
But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.'
Jeremiah 17:5-8

you make me feel... mighty real

sorry for not blogging for a while, I don't want my wife to lose me to the cyberworld...

7 recent emotions - what has been making me feel:

excited: that I am in a personal relationship with God and the reason for my existence is not me
gutted: that I usually live life as if its reason is me
stressed out: that I seem to be losing the ability to manage my diary
at peace: that God is the author of history and the creator of time!
frustrated: that my wife is still ill
purposeful: that her illness can teach me to put others first
bewitched: west wing series 3

holiday in france

Read, ate, played boules, practiced gallic shrugs, saw old buildings, went to an odd theme park, appreciated French cuisine, that sort of thing. Nice to see a different culture, get a proper rest, and have a laugh with my wife and her folks.

the cuban brothers

On a completely superficial note...

I knew these guys once.
Just thought I'd state that for the record, before they hit the big time. I bongo'd for them on a couple of occasions and we used to hang out with them in the Cellar Bar in Edinburgh when they were perfecting their engleesh and practicing breakdancing in their y-fronts.

I felt the need to air that. I'm at a significant age in my life where people of my generation are getting famous and successful, and so I have a number of nearly-famous friends, and famous nearly-friends. Nearly-famous friends are mates who are successful but not famous (Richie Hart, Tom Pearson - see, you've never heard of them, but I have); famous nearly-friends are famous people who are successful but are friends of my friends and not friends of my own (5 at the last count). But finally, I get to state knowledge of famous people in my own right! Except, they won't remember who I am, and if they become notorious for being very rude, I'll deny it. Apart from that, I've made it! Hurrah!

smash n grab

Last week during the night, someone smashed in the rear windscreen of our car while it was parked in the driveway(see left - I've smudged out the number plate in case they come back with a bag of fishes). They did it just to steal the spoiler. Why bother? If they wanted it that much, they could have knocked on the door and asked for it, and I would have considered giving it to them.
Gutted also at the missed gospel opportunity... my neighbour was shocked why someone would do such a destructive thing... because we're all wretched in sin at birth and all of us are capable and guilty! That's what I should have said.

www.tell-me-more.org

the marriage of objective truth and subjective experience

This morning in church we looked at Romans 5:1-11 which explains how the objective truth and subjective experience of the gospel must go hand in hand. v1-2 through Christ we have access to God (objective), so have peace (subjective). v3-5 we also can rejoice in our sufferings, because by the Holy Spirit we have the love of God in our hearts (subjective). v6-8 this is how big the love of God is (objective). v9-11 not only does God's love leave us justified (objective), but we are reconciled to God (subjective)!

compelled but at a loss...

Last night Anna and I went to see The Constant Gardener. I can't remember the last time I've been so moved by a film (actually I can - the first breath of Vader in Revenge of the Sith). At the end the whole cinema sat in silence, and as we walked back to the car it felt more like we'd heard a heart-slamming sermon than just watched a movie. It raised many thoughts about marriage - adultery, trust, protection, grief - and more about the state of the world we live in. It beggars belief that the west can so completely screw developing nations, and it's gutting to be told that as individuals there's really nothing we can do about it.
The Coffee Bible Club have been blogging about the Christian responsibility towards social action - haven't read it yet, but have read Good News To The Poor by Tim Chester. He raises some challenging points. What is frustrating about evangelical social action - and I include myself in this - is the hypocrisy of it. Why do we campaign against government when our rights as Christians are oppressed, but not for the needy? We are right to speak out for persecuted Christians across the world, but why are we silent in the cause for persecuted nations? Praise the Lord that the gospel is the answer, not only for spiritual needs but has social and political dimensions too. But can individuals really do nothing? If God's church is really the hope for the world then it seems we need to work harder at convincing the world this is true.

As we drove home Anna said that it was not only a good night at the cinema, but it felt worthwhile. We felt compelled to do something about it - at the moment we're just not sure what.

burning sulphur

Was very challenged reading Genesis 19 today. I think I've always seen Lot as a bit of a hero - determined to live it out in Sodom as a good guy, befriending heathens rather than just hanging out with Abram. However, I realised today that the Bible sees him as an idiot, because he was simply flirting with sin.
Read Genesis 19 and ask the question, "What did Lot gain for himself and his family by his association with Sodom?" Answer: much pain and sorrow, and little else! Lot wasn't a hero, he was a very foolish man. We should learn from his mistake - don't try and flirt with sin. Not big, not clever. Don't ever think it's good for you or for anyone else. Clear out - and don't look back or you'll turn into a pillar of salt.
A helpful and powerful lesson to kick the day into gear!